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Franz Kafka
The Metamorphosis
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[This translation by Ian Johnston of Vancouver Island University, Nanaimo, BC, Canada has
certain copyright restrictions. For
information please use the following link: Copyright. For comments or questions please contact Ian Johnston. For
links to more Kafka e-texts in English click here. This text
was last revised on April 2015]
THE METAMORPHOSIS
One morning, as Gregor Samsa
was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been
changed into a monstrous verminous bug. He lay on his armor-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up
a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections.
His blanket perched high on this belly could hardly stay in place; it seemed
about to slide off completely. His numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison
to the rest of his circumference, flickered helplessly before his eyes.
“What’s happened to me?” he thought. It was
no dream. His room, a proper room for a human being, only somewhat too small,
lay quietly between the four well-known. walls. Above
the table, on which an unpacked collection of sample cloth goods was spread
out—Samsa was a traveling salesman—hung the picture
which he had cut out of an illustrated magazine a little while ago and set in a
pretty gilt frame. It was a picture of a woman with a fur hat and a fur boa.
She sat erect, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid fur muff into
which her entire forearm had disappeared.
Gregor’s glance then turned to the window.
The dreary weather—you could hear the rain drops falling on the metal window
ledge—made him quite melancholy. “Why don’t I keep sleeping for a little while
longer and forget all this foolishness?” he thought. But this was entirely
impractical, for he was used to sleeping on his right side; and in his present
state he could not get himself into this position. No matter how hard he threw
himself onto his right side, he always rolled onto his back again. He must have
tried it a hundred times, closing his eyes so that he would not have to see the
wriggling legs, and gave up only when he began to feel a light, dull pain in
his side that he had never felt before.
“O God,” he thought, “what a demanding job
I’ve chosen! Day in, day out, on the road. The
stresses of selling are much greater than the actual work going on at head
office, and, in addition to that, I still have to cope with the problems of traveling,
the worries about train connections, irregular bad food, temporary and
constantly changing human interactions, which never come from the heart. To hell with it all!” He felt a slight itching on the top of
his abdomen. He slowly pushed himself on his back closer to the bed post so
that he could lift his head more easily, and found the itchy part, which was
entirely covered with small white spots. He did not know what to make of them
and wanted to feel the place with a leg, but he retracted it immediately, for
the contact felt like a cold shower all over him.
He slid back again into his earlier
position. “This getting up early,” he thought, “makes a man quite idiotic. A
man must have his sleep. Other traveling salesmen live like harem women. For
instance, when I come back to the inn during the course of the morning to write
up the necessary orders, these gentlemen are just sitting down to breakfast. If
I were to try that with my boss, I’d be fired on the spot. Still, who knows
whether that mightn’t be really good for me. If it
weren’t for my parents’ sake, I’d have quit ages ago. I would’ve gone to the
boss and told him just what I think from the bottom of my heart. He would’ve
fallen right off his desk! How weird it is for him to sit up at that desk,
talking down to the employee from way up there—and even more weird because the
boss has trouble hearing, so the employee has to step up quite close to him.
Anyway, I haven’t completely given up that hope yet. Once I’ve got together the
money to pay off my parents’ debt to him—that should take another five or six
years—I’ll do it for sure. Then I’ll make my big break. In any case, right now
I have to get up. My train leaves at five o’clock.”
He looked over at the alarm clock ticking
away on the chest of drawers. “Good God!” he thought. It was half past six, and
the hands were going quietly on. It was even past the half hour, already nearly
quarter to. Could the alarm have failed to ring? You could see from the bed
that it was properly set for four o’clock. Certainly it had rung. Yes, but was
it possible to sleep peacefully through that noise which made the furniture shake? Now, it is true he had not slept peacefully, but evidently
he had slept all the more deeply. Still, what should he do now? The next train
left at seven o’clock. To catch that one, he would have to go in a mad rush.
The case of samples was not packed up yet, and he really did not feel
particularly bright and lively. And even if he caught the train, there was no
avoiding a blow-up with the boss; the firm’s errand boy would have waited for
the five o’clock train and reported the news of his absence long ago. He was
the boss’s minion, without backbone or intelligence. Well then, what if he reported
in sick? But that would be extremely embarrassing and suspicious, because
during his five years’ service Gregor had not been sick even once. The boss
would certainly come with the doctor from the health insurance company and
would reproach his parents for their lazy son and cut short all objections by
asking for the insurance doctor’s comments; for this doctor, everyone was
completely healthy but really lazy about work. And besides, would the doctor in
this case be totally wrong? Apart from a really excessive drowsiness after the
long sleep, Gregor, in fact, felt quite well and even had a really strong appetite.
As he was thinking all this over in the
greatest haste, without being able to make the decision to get out of bed—the
alarm clock was indicating exactly quarter to seven—there was a cautious knock
on the door by the head of the bed. “Gregor,” a voice called—it was his
mother—“it’s quarter to seven. Don’t you want to be on your way?” That soft
voice! Gregor was startled when he heard his own voice answering. It was
clearly and unmistakably the voice he’d had before, but in it was intermingled,
as if from below, an irrepressible, painful squeaking, which left the words
positively distinct only in the first moment and distorted them in the
reverberation, so that anyone listening did not know if he had heard correctly.
Gregor wanted to answer in detail and explain everything, but in these
circumstances he confined himself to saying, “Yes,
yes, thank you Mother. I’m getting up right away.” Because of the wooden door
the change in Gregor’s voice was not really noticeable outside, so his mother
calmed down with this explanation and shuffled off. However, as a result of the
short conversation, the other family members became aware that Gregor was
unexpectedly still at home, and already his father was knocking on one side
door, weakly but with his fist. “Gregor, Gregor,” he called out, “what’s going
on?” And, after a short while, he urged him on again in a deeper voice:
“Gregor! Gregor!” At the other side door, however, his
sister knocked lightly. “Gregor? Are you all right? Do
you need anything?” Gregor directed answers in both directions: “I’ll be ready
right away.” He made an effort with the most careful articulation and inserted
long pauses between the individual words to remove everything remarkable from
his voice. His father turned back to his breakfast. However, his sister whispered,
“Gregor, open the door—I beg you.” Gregor had no intention of opening the door;
he congratulated himself on his precaution, acquired from traveling, of locking
all doors during the night, even at home.
First he wanted to stand up quietly and
undisturbed, get dressed, above all have breakfast, and only then consider further
action, for—he noticed this clearly—by thinking things over in bed he would not
reach a reasonable conclusion. He remembered that before now in bed he had
often felt some light pain or other, which was perhaps the result of an awkward
lying position, and which later, once he stood up, turned out to be purely
imaginary, and he was eager to see how his present fantasies would gradually
dissipate. That the change in his voice was nothing other than the onset of a
cold, an occupational illness of commercial travelers, of that he had not the
slightest doubt.
It was very easy to throw aside the
blanket. He needed only to push his stomach out a little, and it fell by itself.
But to continue was difficult, particularly because he was so unusually wide.
He needed arms and hands to push himself upright.
Instead of these, however, he had only many small limbs, which were incessantly
moving with very different motions and which, in addition, he was unable to
control. If he wanted to bend one of them, then it was the first to extend
itself, and if he finally succeeded doing what he wanted with this limb, in the
meantime all the others, as if left free, moved around in an excessively
painful agitation. “But I must not stay in bed uselessly,” said Gregor to
himself.
At first he wanted to get out of bed with
the lower part of his body, but this lower part—which, by the way, he had not
yet looked at and which he also could not picture clearly—proved itself too
difficult to move. The attempt went so slowly. When, having become almost
frantic, he finally hurled himself forward with all his force and without
thinking, he chose his direction incorrectly, and he hit the lower bedpost
hard. The violent pain he felt revealed to him that the lower part of his body
was at the moment probably the most sensitive.
Thus, he tried to get his upper body out of
the bed first and turned his head carefully toward the edge of the bed. He managed
to do this easily, and in spite of its width and weight his body mass at last
slowly followed the turning of his head. But as he finally extended his head
beyond the bed into the air, he became anxious about moving forward any further
in this manner, for if he allowed himself eventually to fall by this process,
it would really take a miracle to prevent his head from getting injured. And at
all costs he must not lose consciousness right now. He preferred to remain in
bed.
But after a similar effort it was no
different. He lay there again, sighing as before, and
once again saw his small limbs fighting one another, if anything even worse
than earlier, and did not see any chance of imposing quiet and order on this
arbitrary movement. He told himself again that he could not possibly remain in
bed and that it might be the most reasonable thing to sacrifice everything if
there was even the slightest hope of getting himself out of bed in the process.
At the same time, however, he did not forget to keep reminding himself periodically
of the fact that calm—indeed the calmest—reflection might be much better than
confused decisions. At such moments, he directed his gaze as precisely as he
could toward the window, but unfortunately a glance at the morning mist, which
concealed even the other side of the narrow street, offered little to make him
more confident or cheerful. “It’s already seven o’clock,” he told himself at
the latest sounds from the alarm clock, “already seven o’clock and still such a
fog.” And for a little while longer he lay quietly with weak breathing, as if
perhaps waiting for normal and natural conditions to re-emerge out of the
complete stillness.
But then he said to himself,
“Before it strikes a quarter past seven, whatever happens I must be completely
out of bed. Besides, by then someone from the office will arrive to inquire
about me, because the office will open before seven o’clock.” And he made an
effort then to rock his entire body length out of the bed with a uniform motion.
If he let himself fall out of the bed in this way, his head, which in the
course of the fall he intended to lift up sharply, would probably remain uninjured.
His back seemed to be hard; nothing would really happen to that as a result of
the fall onto the carpet. His greatest reservation was a worry about the loud
noise which the fall must create and which presumably would arouse, if not
fright, then at least concern on the other side of all the doors. Nevertheless,
he had to take that chance.
As Gregor was already in the process of
lifting himself half out of bed—the new method was more of a game than an effort;
he needed only to rock with a series of jerks—it struck him how easy all this
would be if someone were to come to his aid. Two strong people—he thought of
his father and the servant girl—would have been quite sufficient. They would
only have had to push their arms under his arched back to get him out of the
bed, to bend down with their load, and then merely to exercise patience so that
he could complete the flip onto the floor, where his diminutive legs would
then, he hoped, acquire a purpose. Now, quite apart from the fact that the
doors were locked, should he really call out for help? In spite of all his
distress, he was unable to suppress a smile at this idea.
He had already got to the point where, by
rocking more strongly, he was making it very difficult for himself to keep his
balance, and very soon he would finally have to make a final decision, for in
five minutes it would be a quarter past seven. Then there was a ring at the door
of the apartment. “That’s someone from the office,” he told himself, and he
almost froze, while his small limbs only danced around all the faster. For one
moment everything remained still. “They aren’t opening the door,” Gregor said
to himself, caught up in some absurd hope. But of course then, as usual, the servant
girl with her firm tread went to the door and opened it. Gregor needed to hear
only the first word of the visitor’s greeting to recognize immediately who it
was, the manager himself. Why was Gregor the only one condemned to work in a
firm where the slightest lapse would attract the greatest suspicion? Were all
the employees collectively, one and all, scoundrels? Among them was there then
no truly devoted person who, if he failed to use just a couple of hours in the
morning for office work, would become abnormal from pangs of conscience and
really be in no state to get out of bed? Would it not have been enough to let
an apprentice make inquiries, if such questioning was even necessary? Must the
manager himself come, and in the process must it be demonstrated to the entire
innocent family that the investigation of this suspicious circumstance could be
entrusted only to the intelligence of the manager? More as a consequence of the
excited state in which this idea put Gregor than as a result of any actual decision,
he swung himself with all his might out of the bed. There was a loud thud, but
not a real crash. The fall was absorbed somewhat by the carpet and, in
addition, his back was more elastic than Gregor had thought. For that reason
the dull noise was not quite so conspicuous. But he had not held his head up
with sufficient care and had bumped it. He turned his head, irritated and in
pain, and rubbed it on the carpet.
“Something has fallen in there,” said the
manager in the next room on the left. Gregor tried to imagine to himself
whether anything similar to what was happening to him today could have also
happened at some point to the manager. At least one had to concede the
possibility of such a thing. However, as if to give a rough answer to this
question, the manager now, with a squeak of his polished boots, took a few
determined steps in the next room. From the neighboring room on the right the
sister was whispering to inform Gregor: “Gregor, the manager is here.” “I
know,” said Gregor to himself. But he did not dare make his voice loud enough
so that his sister could hear.
“Gregor,” his father now said from the
neighboring room on the left, “Mr. Manager has come and is asking why you did not
leave on the early train. We don’t know what we should tell him. Besides, he
also wants to speak to you personally. So please open the door. He will be good
enough to forgive the mess in your room.” In the middle of all this, the
manager called out in a friendly way, “Good morning, Mr. Samsa.”
“He is not well,” said his mother to the manager, while his father was still
talking at the door, “He is not well, believe me, Mr. Manager. Otherwise how
would Gregor miss a train? The young man has nothing in his head except
business. I’m almost angry that he never goes out in the evening. Right now
he’s been in the city eight days, but he’s been at home every evening. He sits
here with us at the table and reads the newspaper quietly or studies his travel
schedules. Working with wood can be quite a diversion for him; he busies
himself with fretwork. For instance, he cut out a small frame over the course
of two or three evenings. You’d be amazed how pretty it is. It’s hanging right
inside the room. You’ll see it immediately, as soon as Gregor opens the door.
Anyway, I’m happy that you’re here, Mr. Manager. By ourselves, we would never
have made Gregor open the door. He’s so stubborn, and he’s certainly not well,
although he denied that this morning.” “I’m coming right away,” said Gregor
slowly and deliberately, without moving, so as not to lose one word of the
conversation. “My dear lady, I cannot explain it to myself in any other way,”
said the manager; “I hope it is nothing serious. On the other hand, I must also
say that we business people, luckily or unluckily, however one looks at it,
very often simply have to overcome a slight indisposition for business reasons.”
“So can Mr. Manager come in to see you now?” asked his father impatiently and
knocked once again on the door. “No,” said Gregor. In the neighboring room on
the left an awkward stillness descended. In the neighboring room on the right
the sister began to sob.
Why did his sister not go to the others?
She had probably just got up out of bed now and had not even started to get
dressed yet. Then why was she crying? Because he was not getting up and letting
the manager in, because he was in danger of losing his position, and because
then his boss would badger his parents once again with the old demands? Those
were probably unnecessary worries right now. Gregor was still here and was not
thinking at all about abandoning his family. At the moment he was lying right
there on the carpet, and no one who knew about his condition would have
seriously demanded that he let the manager in. In any case, Gregor would not be
casually dismissed right away because of this small discourtesy, for which he
would find an easy and suitable excuse later on. It seemed to Gregor that it
would be far more reasonable to leave him in peace at the moment, instead of
disturbing him with crying and exhortations. But the others were distressed by
their uncertainty, which excused their behavior.
“Mr. Samsa!” The
manager was now shouting, his voice raised. “What’s
the matter? You are barricading yourself there in your room, answering with
only a yes and a no, you are making serious and unnecessary trouble for your
parents, and you are neglecting—I mention this only incidentally—your
commercial duties in a truly unheard-of manner. I am speaking here in the name
of your parents and your employer, and I am requesting you in all seriousness
to give an immediate and clear explanation. I am amazed. I am amazed. I thought
I knew you as a calm, reasonable person, and now you appear suddenly to want to
start parading around in strange moods. The Chief indicated to me earlier this
very day a possible explanation for your neglect—it concerned the collection of
cash entrusted to you a short while ago—but in truth I almost gave him my word
of honor that this explanation could not be correct. However, now I see here
your unimaginable pig-headedness, and I am totally losing any desire to speak
up for you in the slightest. And your position is not at all the most secure.
Originally I intended to mention all this to you privately, but since you are
letting me waste my time here uselessly, I don’t know why the matter shouldn’t
come to the attention of your parents as well. Your productivity has been very
unsatisfactory recently. Of course, it’s not the time of year to produce
exceptional sales, we recognize that, but a time of year for producing no
sales, there is no such thing at all, Mr. Samsa, and
such a thing must not be permitted.”
“But Mr. Manager,” called Gregor, beside
himself and, in his agitation, forgetting everything else, “I’m opening the
door immediately, this very moment. A slight indisposition, a dizzy spell, has
prevented me from getting up. I’m still lying in bed right now. But I’m quite refreshed
once again. I’m in the midst of getting out of bed. Just have patience for a
short moment! Things are not yet going as well as I thought. But things are all
right with me. How suddenly this can overcome someone! Only yesterday evening
everything was fine with me. My parents certainly know that. Actually just yesterday
evening I had a small premonition. People must have seen that in me. Why did I
not report that to the office? But people always think that they’ll get over
sickness without having to stay at home. Mr. Manager! Take it easy on my
parents! There is really no basis for the criticisms which you’re now making
against me. Nobody has said a word to me about any of this. Perhaps you have
not seen the latest orders I sent in. Besides, I’m setting out on a new sales
trip on the eight o’clock train; the few hours’ rest have made me stronger. Mr.
Manager, there’s no need for you to wait here any longer. I will be at the
office in person right away. Please have the goodness to report that and to
convey my respects to the Chief.”
While Gregor was quickly blurting all this
out, hardly aware of what he was saying, he had moved close to the chest of
drawers without effort, probably as a result of the practice he had already had
in bed, and now he was trying to raise himself up on it. Actually, he wanted to
open the door. He really wanted to let himself be seen and to speak with the
manager. He was keen to see what the others who had been asking about him just
now would say when they saw him. If they were startled, then Gregor would no
longer be burdened by responsibility and could be calm. But if they accepted everything
quietly, then he would have no reason to get excited; if he got a move on, he
could really be at the station around eight o’clock. At first he slid down a
few times on the smooth chest of drawers. But at last he gave himself a final
swing and stood upright there. He was no longer at all aware of the pains in
his lower body, no matter how they might still sting. Now he let himself fall
against the back of a nearby chair, on the edge of which he braced himself with
his small limbs. By doing this he gained control over himself and kept quiet,
for he could now hear the manager.
“Did you understand even a single word?”
the manager asked the parents, “Is he playing the fool with us?” “For God’s
sake,” cried the mother, already in tears, “perhaps he’s very ill, and we’re
upsetting him. Grete! Grete!” she yelled. “Mother?” called the sister from the
other side. They were making themselves understood through Gregor’s room. “You
must go to the doctor right away. Gregor is sick. Hurry to the doctor. Did you
hear Gregor speak just now?” “That was an animal’s voice,” said the manager,
remarkably quiet in comparison to the mother’s cries. “Anna! Anna!” yelled the
father through the hall into the kitchen, clapping his hands, “Fetch a
locksmith right away!” The two young women were already running through the
hall with swishing skirts—how had his sister dressed herself so quickly?—and
pulling open the doors of the apartment. You couldn’t hear the doors closing at
all. They probably had left them open, as is customary in an apartment where a
great misfortune has taken place.
However, Gregor had become much calmer. All
right, people did not understand his words any more, although they seemed clear
enough to him, clearer than previously, perhaps because his ears had gotten
used to them. But at least people now thought that things were not completely
all right with him and were prepared to help him. The confidence and assurance
with which the first arrangements had been carried out made him feel good. He
felt himself included once again in the circle of humanity and was expecting
from both the doctor and the locksmith, without differentiating between them
with any real precision, splendid and surprising results. In order to make his
voice as clear as possible for the critical conversation which was imminent, he
coughed a little. He certainly took care to do this in a really subdued way,
since it was possible that even this noise would sound like something different
from a human clearing of the throat. He no longer trusted his judgment.
Meanwhile in the next room it had become very quiet. Perhaps his parents were
sitting with the manager at the table whispering; perhaps they were all leaning
against the door and listening.
Gregor pushed himself slowly towards the
door, with the help of the easy chair. Then he let go of the chair, threw
himself against the door, held himself upright against it—the balls of his tiny
limbs had a little sticky stuff on them—and rested there
momentarily from his exertion. Next he made an effort to turn the key in the
lock with his mouth. Unfortunately it seemed that he had no real teeth. How
then was he to grab hold of the key? But to make up for that his jaws were
naturally very strong; with their help he managed to get the key actually
moving. He did not notice that he was obviously inflicting some damage on
himself; a brown fluid was coming out of his mouth, flowing over the key, and
dripping onto the floor. “Just listen,” said the manager in the next room.
“He’s turning the key.” For Gregor that was a great encouragement. But they
should all have called out to him, including his father and mother, “Come on,
Gregor,” they should have shouted, “keep going, keep
working on the lock!” Imagining that all his efforts were being followed with
suspense, he bit down on the key unthinkingly with all the force he could muster.
As the key turned more, he danced around the lock. Now he was holding himself
upright only with his mouth, and he had to alternate as necessary between
hanging onto the key and pressing it down again with the whole weight of his
body. The quite distinct click of the lock as it finally snapped open really
woke Gregor up. Breathing heavily he said to himself, “So I didn’t need the
locksmith,” and he set his head against the door handle to open the door completely.
Because he’d had to open the door in this
way, it swung open really wide without him yet being visible. He first had to
edge himself slowly around the door frame, very carefully, of course, if he did
not want to fall awkwardly on his back right at the entrance into the room. He
was still preoccupied with this difficult movement and had no time to pay
attention to anything else, when he heard the manager exclaim a loud “Oh!”—it
sounded like the wind whistling—and now he saw him, nearest to the door,
pressing his hand against his open mouth and moving slowly back, as if an
invisible constant force were pushing him away. His mother—in spite of the presence
of the manager she was standing here with her hair sticking up on end, still a
mess from the night—first looked at his father with her hands clasped, then
went two steps towards Gregor and collapsed right in the middle of her skirts,
which were spread out all around her, her face sunk on her breast, completely
concealed. His father clenched his fist with a hostile expression, as if he
wished to push Gregor back into his room, then looked uncertainly around the
living room, covered his eyes with his hands, and cried so that his mighty
breast shook.
At this point Gregor had still not taken
one step into the room; he was leaning his body from the inside against the
firmly bolted wing of the door, so that only half his body was visible, as well
as his head, tilted sideways, with which he peeped over at the others.
Meanwhile it had become much brighter. Standing out clearly from the other side
of the street was a section of the endless gray-black house situated
opposite—it was a hospital—with its severe regular windows breaking up the
facade. The rain was still coming down, but only in large individual drops
visibly and firmly thrown down one by one onto the ground. Countless breakfast
dishes were standing piled around on the table, because for his father
breakfast was the most important meal time in the day, one which he prolonged
for hours by reading various newspapers. Directly across on the opposite wall
hung a photograph of Gregor from the time of his military service; it was a
picture of him as a lieutenant; smiling and worry free, with his hand on his
sword, he demanded respect for his bearing and uniform. The door to the hall
was ajar, and since the door to the apartment was also open, you could see out
into the landing of the apartment and the start of the staircase going down.
“Now,” said Gregor, well aware that he was
the only one who had kept his composure, “I’ll get dressed right away, pack up
the collection of samples, and set off. You’ll allow me to set out on my way,
will you not? You see, Mr. Manager, I am not pig-headed, and I am happy to
work. Traveling is exhausting, but I couldn’t live without it. Where are you
going, Mr. Manager? To the office? Really?
Will you report everything truthfully? A person can be incapable of work
momentarily, but that’s precisely the best time to remember the earlier achievements
and to consider that later, after the obstacles have been removed, the person
will certainly work all the more diligently and intensely. I am really so
indebted to Mr. Chief—you know that perfectly well. On the other hand, I am concerned
about my parents and my sister. I’m in a fix, but I’ll work myself out of it
again. Don’t make things more difficult for me than they already are. Speak up
on my behalf in the office! People don’t like traveling salesmen. I know that.
People think they earn pots of money and thus lead a fine life. People never
have any special reason to think through this judgment more clearly. But you,
Mr. Manager, you have a better perspective on what’s involved than other
people—even, I tell you in total confidence, a better perspective than Mr.
Chief himself, who in his capacity as the employer may easily shade his decisions
at the expense of an employee. You also know well enough that the traveling
salesman who is outside the office almost the entire year can become so easily
a victim of gossip, coincidences, and groundless complaints, against which it’s
totally impossible for him to defend himself. For the most part he doesn’t hear
about them at all, and if he does it’s only when he’s at home and exhausted
after finishing a trip. Then he gets to feel in his own body the nasty
consequences, which can’t be thoroughly traced back to their origins. Mr.
Manager, don’t leave without speaking a word indicating to me that you’ll at
least concede that I’m a little in the right!”
But at Gregor’s first words the manager had
already turned away, and now he looked back with
pursed lips at Gregor over his twitching shoulders. During Gregor’s speech he
had not been still for a moment but had kept moving away towards the door, without
taking his eyes off Gregor, but really gradually, as if there were a secret ban
on leaving the room. He was already in the hall, and given the sudden movement
with which he finally pulled his foot out of the living room, you could have
believed that he had just burned his sole. In the hall, however, he stretched
his right hand out away from his body towards the staircase, as if some almost
supernatural relief was waiting for him there.
Gregor realized that he must not under any
circumstances allow the manager to go away in this frame of mind, if his position
in the firm was not to be placed in the greatest danger. His parents did not
understand all this very well. Over the long years, they had developed the
conviction that Gregor was set up for life in this firm and, in addition, they
had so much to do nowadays with their present troubles that all foresight was
foreign to them. But Gregor had this foresight. The manager must be detained,
calmed down, convinced, and finally won over. The future of Gregor and his
family really depended on it! If only his sister had been there! She was
clever. She had already cried while Gregor was still lying quietly on his back.
And the manager, always a friend of the ladies, would certainly let himself be
guided by her. She would have closed the door to the apartment and talked him
out of his fright in the hall. But his sister was not even there. Gregor had to
deal with it himself. Without thinking that as yet he did not know anything
about his present ability to move, and without thinking that his speech
possibly—indeed probably—had once again not been understood, he left the wing
of the door, pushed himself through the opening, and tried to go over to the
manager, who was already holding the handrail on the landing tight, gripping
with both hands in a ridiculous way. But as Gregor looked for something to
steady himself, with a small scream he immediately fell down onto his numerous
little legs. Scarcely had this happened, when he felt for the first time that
morning a general physical wellbeing. The small limbs had firm floor under
them; they obeyed perfectly, as he noticed to his joy, and even strove to carry
him forward in the direction he wanted. Right away he believed that the final
amelioration of all his suffering was immediately at hand. But at the very
moment when he lay on the floor rocking in a restrained manner quite close to
and directly across from his mother, who seemed to have totally sunk into
herself, she suddenly sprang right up with her arms spread far apart and her
fingers extended and cried out, “Help, for God’s sake, help!” She held her head
bowed down, as if she wanted to view Gregor better, but then she ran
senselessly back, contradicting that gesture, forgetting that behind her stood
the table with all the dishes on it. When she reached the table, she sat down
heavily on it, as if absent-mindedly, and did not appear to notice at all that
next to her coffee was pouring out onto the carpet in a full stream from the
large, overturned pot.
“Mother, mother,” said Gregor quietly and
looked over towards her. The manager had momentarily vanished completely from
his mind. On the other hand, when he saw the flowing coffee Gregor could not
stop himself snapping his jaws in the air a few times. At that his mother screamed
all over again, hurried from the table, and collapsed into the arms of his
father, who was rushing towards her. But Gregor had no time right now for his
parents—the manager was already on the staircase. With his chin on the bannister, the manager looked back for the last time.
Gregor made a running start to catch up to him if possible. But the manager
must have suspected something, because he made a leap down over a few stairs
and disappeared, still shouting “Aah!” The sound
echoed throughout the entire stairwell. Unfortunately this flight of the
manager seemed to bewilder his father completely. Earlier he had been
relatively calm. Now instead of running after the manager himself, or at least
not hindering Gregor from his pursuit, with his right hand he grabbed hold of
the cane that the manager had left behind on a chair with his hat and overcoat.
With his left hand, the father grabbed a large newspaper from the table and,
stamping his feet on the floor, he set out to drive Gregor back into his room by
waving the cane and the newspaper. No request of Gregor’s was of any use; no request
would even be understood. No matter how willing he was to turn his head respectfully,
his father just stomped all the harder with his feet. Across the room from him
his mother had pulled open a window, in spite of the cool weather, and leaning
out with her hands on her cheeks, she pushed her face
far outside the window. Between the lane and the stairwell a strong draught
came up, the curtains on the window flew around, the newspapers on the table
rustled, and individual sheets fluttered down over the floor. His father
relentlessly pushed his way forward, hissing like a wild man. Now, Gregor still
had no practice at all in going backwards—it was really very slow going. If Gregor
only had been allowed to turn himself around, he would have been in his room
right away, but he was afraid to make his father impatient by the
time-consuming process of turning around, and each moment he faced the threat
of a mortal blow on his back or his head from the cane in his father’s hand.
Finally Gregor had no other option, for he noticed with horror that he did not
understand yet how to maintain his direction going backwards. And so he began,
amid constantly anxious sideways glances in his father’s direction, to turn
himself around as quickly as possible, although in truth he could only do this
very slowly. Perhaps his father noticed his good intentions, for he did not
disrupt Gregor in this motion, but with the tip of the cane from a distance he
even directed Gregor’s rotating movement now and then. If only his father had
not hissed so unbearably! Because of that Gregor totally lost his head. He was
already almost totally turned around, when, always with this hissing in his
ear, he just made a mistake and turned himself back a little. But when he
finally was successful in getting his head in front of the door opening, it became
clear that his body was too wide to go through any further. Naturally his
father, in his present mental state, had no idea of, say, opening the other
wing of the door a bit to create a suitable passage for Gregor to get through.
His single fixed thought was that Gregor must get into his room as quickly as
possible. He would never have allowed the elaborate preparations Gregor
required to raise himself up and perhaps in this way
get through the door. Perhaps with his excessive noise he was now driving
Gregor forwards as if there were no obstacle. Behind Gregor the sound at this
point was no longer like the voice of only a single father. Now it was really
no longer a joke, and Gregor forced himself, come what might, into the doorway.
One side of his body lifted up. He lay at an angle in the door opening. His one
flank was all raw from the scraping. On the white door ugly blotches were left.
Soon he was stuck fast and would not have been able to move any more on his
own. The tiny legs on one side hung twitching in the air above, and the ones on
the other side were pushed painfully into the floor. Then his father gave him
one really strong liberating push from behind, and he scurried, bleeding
severely, far into his room. The door was slammed shut with the cane, and then
finally it was quiet.
II
Gregor first woke up from his heavy
swoon-like sleep in the evening twilight. He would certainly have woken up soon
afterwards even without any disturbance, for he felt himself sufficiently
rested and wide awake; but it appeared to him as if a hurried step and a
cautious closing of the door to the hall might have roused him. Light from the
electric streetlamps lay pale here and there on the ceiling of his room and on
the higher parts of the furniture, but down around Gregor it was dark. He
pushed himself slowly toward the door, still groping awkwardly with his
feelers, which he now learned to value for the first time, to check what was
happening. His left side seemed one single long unpleasantly stretched scar,
and he really had to hobble on his two rows of legs. In addition, one small leg
had been seriously wounded in the course of the morning incident—it was almost
a miracle that only one had been hurt—and dragged lifelessly behind.
By the door he first noticed what had
really lured him there: it was the smell of something to eat. A bowl stood
there, filled with sweetened milk, in which swam tiny pieces of white bread. He
almost laughed with joy, for he had an even greater hunger than in the morning,
and he immediately dipped his head almost over his eyes down into the milk. But
he soon drew it back again in disappointment, not just because it was difficult
for him to eat on account of his delicate left side—he could eat only if his
entire panting body worked in a coordinated way—but also because the milk,
which had always been his favorite drink and which his sister had certainly
placed there for that reason, did not appeal to him at all. He turned away from
the bowl almost with aversion and crept back into the middle of the room.
In the living room, as Gregor saw through
the crack in the door, the gas was lit, but where, on other occasions at this
time of day, his father was accustomed to read the afternoon newspaper in a
loud voice to his mother and sometimes also to his sister, at the moment no
sound was audible. Perhaps this reading aloud, about which his sister had
always spoken and written to him, had recently fallen out of their general routine.
But it was so still all around, in spite of the fact that the apartment was
certainly not empty. “What a quiet life the family leads,” said Gregor to
himself, and, as he stared fixedly out in front of him into the darkness, he
felt a great pride that he had been able to provide such a life for his parents
and his sister in such a beautiful apartment. But how would things go if now
all tranquility, all prosperity, all contentment should come to a horrible end?
In order not to lose himself in such thoughts, Gregor preferred to set himself
moving, so he crawled up and down in his room.
Once during the long evening one side door
and then the other door were opened just a tiny crack and quickly closed again.
Someone presumably had felt they needed to come in but had then thought better
of it. Gregor immediately took up a position by the living room door,
determined to bring in the hesitant visitor somehow or other, or at least to
find out who it might be. But now the door was not opened anymore; Gregor
waited in vain. Earlier, when the door had been barred, they had all wanted to
come in to him; now, when he had opened one door and when the others had
obviously been opened during the day, no one came any more, and now the keys
were stuck in the locks on the outside.
The light in the living room was turned off
only late at night, and it was now easy to establish that his parents and his
sister had stayed awake all this time, for one could hear them clearly as all
three moved away on tiptoe. Now it was certain that no one would come in to
Gregor any more until the morning. Thus, he had a long time to think
undisturbed about how he should reorganize his life from scratch. But the high,
open room, in which he was compelled to lie flat on the floor, made him
anxious, without his being able to figure out the reason, for he had lived in
the room for five years. With a half-unconscious turn and not without a little
shame he scurried under the couch, where, in spite of the fact that his back
was a little cramped and he could no longer lift up his head, he felt very
comfortable right away and was sorry only that his body was too wide to fit
completely under the couch.
There he remained the entire night, which
he spent partly in a state of semi-sleep, out of which his hunger constantly
woke him with a start, but partly in a state of worry and murky hopes, which
all led to the conclusion that for the time being he would have to keep calm
and with patience and the greatest consideration for his family tolerate the
troubles which in his present condition he was now forced to cause them.
Already early in the morning—it was still
almost night—Gregor had an opportunity to test the power of the decisions he
had just made, for his sister, almost fully dressed, opened the door from the
hall into his room and looked eagerly inside. She did not find him immediately,
but when she noticed him under the couch—God, he had to be somewhere or other,
for he could hardly fly away—she got such a shock that, without being able to
control herself, she slammed the door shut once again from the outside. However,
as if she was sorry for her behavior, she immediately opened the door again and
walked in on her tiptoes, as if she was in the presence of a serious invalid or
a total stranger. Gregor had pushed his head forward just to the edge of the
couch and was observing her. Would she really notice that he had left the milk
standing, not indeed from any lack of hunger, and would she bring in something
else to eat more suitable for him? If she did not do it on her own, he would
sooner starve to death than call her attention to the fact, although he had a
really powerful urge to dash out from under the couch, throw himself at his
sister’s feet, and beg her for something or other good to eat. But his sister noticed
right away with astonishment that the bowl was still full, with only a little
milk spilled around it. She picked it up immediately, not with her bare hands
but with a rag, and took it out of the room. Gregor was extremely curious what
she would bring as a substitute, and he pictured to himself very different
ideas about it. But he never could have guessed what his sister, out of the
goodness of her heart, in fact, did. To test his taste, she brought him an
entire selection, all spread out on an old newspaper. There were old
half-rotten vegetables, bones from the evening meal, covered with a white sauce
which had almost solidified, some raisins and almonds, cheese which Gregor had
declared inedible two days earlier, a slice of dry bread, a slice with butter,
and a slice of salted bread smeared with butter. In addition to all this, she
put down the bowl—probably designated once and for all as Gregor’s—into which
she had poured some water. And out of her delicacy of feeling, since she knew
that Gregor would not eat in front of her, she went away very quickly and even
turned the key in the lock, so that Gregor could now know that he might make
himself as comfortable as he wished. Gregor’s small limbs buzzed now that the
time for eating had come. His wounds must, in any case, have already healed
completely. He felt no handicap on that score. He was astonished at that, and
thought about how more than a month ago he had cut his finger very slightly
with a knife—and this wound had still hurt the day before yesterday. “Am I now
going to be less sensitive?” he thought, already sucking greedily on the
cheese, which had strongly attracted him right away, more than all the other
foods. Quickly and with his eyes watering with satisfaction, he ate one after
the other the cheese, the vegetables, and the sauce. The fresh food, by
contrast, did not taste good to him. He could not even bear the smell and
carried the things he wanted to eat a little distance away. By the time his
sister slowly turned the key as a sign that he should withdraw, he was long
finished with everything and now lay lazily in the same spot. The noise immediately
startled him, in spite of the fact that he was already almost asleep, and he
scurried back again under the couch. But it cost him great self-control to
remain under the couch, even for the short time his sister was in the room,
because his body had filled out somewhat on account of the rich meal and in the
narrow space there he could scarcely breathe. In the midst of minor attacks of
asphyxiation, he looked at her with somewhat protruding eyes, as his unsuspecting
sister swept up with a broom, not just the remnants, but even the foods which
Gregor had not touched at all, as if these were also now useless, and as she
dumped everything quickly into a bucket, which she closed with a wooden lid,
and then carried all of it out of the room. She had hardly turned around before
Gregor had already dragged himself out from under the couch, stretched out, and
let his body expand.
In this way Gregor now got his food every
day, once in the morning, when his parents and the servant girl were still
asleep, and a second time after the common noon meal, for his parents were
asleep then for a little while, and the servant girl was sent off by his sister
on some errand or other. They certainly would not have wanted Gregor to starve
to death, but perhaps they could not have endured finding out what he ate
(other than by hearsay). Perhaps his sister also wanted to spare them what was
possibly only a small grief, for they were really suffering quite enough
already.
What sorts of excuses people had used on
that first morning to get the doctor and the locksmith out of the house again
Gregor was completely unable to ascertain. Since they could not understand him,
no one, not even his sister, had imagined that he might be able to understand
others, and thus, when his sister was in his room, he had to be content with listening
now and then to her sighs and invocations to the saints. Only later, when she
had grown somewhat accustomed to everything—naturally there could never be any
talk of her growing completely accustomed to it—Gregor sometimes caught a
comment which was intended to be friendly or could be interpreted as such.
“Well, today it tasted good to him,” she said, if Gregor had really cleaned up
what he had to eat; whereas, in the reverse situation, which gradually repeated
itself more and more frequently, she used to say almost sadly, “Now everything
has been left again.”
But while Gregor could get no new
information directly, he did hear a good deal from the room next door, and as
soon as he heard voices, he scurried over right away to whichever door it was and
pressed his entire body against it. In the early days especially, there was no
conversation which was not concerned with him in some way or other, even if
only surreptitiously. For two days at all meal times discussions could be heard
of how they should now conduct themselves. They also talked about the same
subject in the times between meals, for there were always at least two family
members at home, since no one really wanted to remain in the house alone and
people could not under any circumstances leave the apartment completely empty.
In addition, on the very first day the servant girl—it was not completely clear
what and how much she knew about what had happened—on her knees had begged his
mother to let her go immediately. When she said goodbye about fifteen minutes
later, she thanked them for the dismissal with tears in her eyes, as if she was
receiving the greatest favor which people had ever shown her there, and,
without anyone demanding it from her, she swore a fearful oath not to reveal
anything to anyone, not even the slightest detail.
Now his sister had to team up with his
mother to do the cooking, although that did not create much trouble because people
were eating almost nothing. Again and again Gregor listened as one of them
vainly invited another one to eat and received no answer other than “Thank you.
I’ve had enough” or something like that. And perhaps
they had stopped having anything to drink, too. His sister often asked his
father whether he wanted to have a beer and gladly offered to fetch it herself,
and when his father was silent, she said, in order to remove any reservations
he might have, that she could send the caretaker’s wife to get it. But then the
father would finally say a resounding “No,” and
nothing more would be spoken about it.
Already during the first day his father
laid out all the financial circumstances and prospects to his mother and to his
sister as well. From time to time he stood up from the table and pulled out of
the small lockbox salvaged from his business, which had collapsed five years
previously, some document or other or some notebook. The sound was audible as
he opened up the complicated lock and, after removing what he was looking for,
locked it up again. Some of the father’s explanations were the first enjoyable
thing that Gregor had the chance to listen to since his imprisonment began. He
had thought that his father had been left with nothing at all from that
business; at least his father had told him nothing to contradict that view, and
Gregor in any case had not asked him about it. At the time Gregor’s only
concern had been to do everything he could in order to allow his family to
forget as quickly as possible the business misfortune which had brought them
all into a state of complete hopelessness. And so at that point he had started
to work with a special intensity; from a minor assistant he had become, almost
overnight, a traveling salesman, who naturally had entirely different possibilities
for earning money and whose successes at work were converted immediately into
the form of cash commissions, which could be set out on the table at home for
his astonished and delighted family. Those had been beautiful days, and they
had never come back since, at least not with the same splendor, in spite of the
fact that Gregor later earned so much money that he was in a position to bear
the expenses of the entire family, costs which he, in fact, did bear. They had
become quite accustomed to it, both the family and Gregor as well. They took
the money with thanks, and he happily surrendered it, but there was no longer
any special warmth about it. Only his sister had remained still close to
Gregor, and it was his secret plan to send her next year to
the Conservatory, regardless of the great expense which that necessarily
involved and which would be made up in other ways. In contrast to Gregor, she
loved music very much and knew how to play the violin charmingly. Now and then
during Gregor’s short stays in the city the Conservatory was mentioned in
conversations with his sister, but always merely as a beautiful dream, whose
realization was unimaginable; their parents never listened to these innocent
expectations with pleasure. But Gregor thought about them with scrupulous
consideration and intended to announce his proposal solemnly on Christmas Eve.
In his present situation, such completely
futile ideas would go through his head while he pushed himself right up against
the door and listened. Sometimes in his general exhaustion he could not listen
anymore and let his head bang listlessly against the door, but he immediately
pulled himself together once more, for even the small sound which he made by
this motion would be heard nearby and silence everyone. “There he goes on
again,” his father would say after a while, clearly turning towards the door,
and only then would the interrupted conversation gradually be resumed again.
Gregor soon found out clearly enough—for
his father tended to repeat himself from time to time in his explanations,
partly because he had not personally concerned himself with these matters for a
long time now, and partly because his mother did not understand everything
right away the first time—that, in spite of all bad luck, an amount of money,
although a very small one, was still available from the old times and that the
interest, which had not been touched, had in the intervening time accumulated a
little. In addition to this, the money which Gregor had brought home every
month—he had kept only a few crowns for himself—had not been completely spent
and had grown into a small capital amount. Gregor, behind his door, nodded
eagerly, rejoicing over this unanticipated foresight and frugality. True, with
this excess money, he could really have paid off more of the father’s debt to
his employer and the day on which he could be rid of this position would have
been a lot closer, but now things were doubtless better the way his father had
arranged them.
At the moment, however, this money was not
nearly sufficient to permit the family to live off the interest payments. Perhaps
the savings would be enough to maintain the family for one or at most two
years, that was all. Thus, it only really added up to an amount that one should
not draw upon and that should be set aside for an emergency. They had to earn
money to live on. Now, it’s true his father was indeed a healthy man, but he
was old and had not worked for five years and thus could not be counted on for
very much. He had in these five years, the first holidays of his laborious but
unsuccessful life, put on a good deal of fat and thus had become really heavy.
And should his old mother now be expected to work for money? A woman who
suffered from asthma, for whom wandering through the apartment was even now a
great strain and who spent every second day on the sofa by the open window,
having trouble with her breathing? Should his sister earn money, a girl who was
still a seventeen-year-old child and whose earlier
lifestyle—consisting of dressing herself nicely, sleeping in late, helping
around the house, taking part in a few modest enjoyments and, above all,
playing the violin—had been so very delightful? When it came to talking about
this need to earn money, Gregor would at first always let go of the door and
throw himself on the cool leather sofa nearby, quite hot from shame and sorrow.
Often he lay there all night long, not
sleeping at all, just scratching on the leather for hours at a time. Or he
would take on the very difficult task of pushing a chair over to the window.
Then he would creep up on the window sill and, braced on the chair, lean
against the window to look out, obviously with some memory or other of the
liberating sense which looking out the window used to bring him in earlier
times. For, in fact, from day to day he perceived things with less and less
clarity, even things that were only a short distance away. The hospital across
the street, the all-too-frequent sight of which he had previously cursed, was
not visible at all anymore, and if he had not been very well aware that he
lived in the quiet but completely urban Charlotte Street, he could have
believed that from his window he was peering out at a featureless wasteland, in
which the grey heaven and the grey earth had merged and were indistinguishable.
His observant sister had only to notice a couple of times that the chair stood
by the window; then, after cleaning up the room, she would each time push the
chair back right against the window again. She even began to leave the inner
casements open.
If Gregor had only been able to speak to
his sister and thank her for everything that she had to do for him, he would
have tolerated her service more easily. As it was, he suffered under it. To her
credit, the sister sought to cover up the awkwardness of everything as much as
possible, and, as time went by, she naturally became more successful at it. But
with the passing of time Gregor also came to understand everything much more
clearly. Even the way she would come in was terrible for him. As soon as she
entered, she ran straight to the window, without taking the time to shut the
door—in spite of the fact that at other times she was very careful to spare
anyone the sight of Gregor’s room—and yanked the window open with eager hands,
as if she were almost suffocating, and remained for a while by the window
breathing deeply, even when it was very cold. With all her noisy rushing about
she frightened Gregor twice every day. The entire time he trembled under the
couch, and yet he knew very well that she would certainly have spared him all
this gladly if it had only been possible for her to remain with the window
closed in a room where Gregor lived.
On one occasion—about one month had already
gone by since Gregor’s transformation, and there was no particular reason any
more for his sister to be startled at Gregor’s appearance—she arrived a little
earlier than usual and came upon Gregor as he was still looking out the window,
immobile and positioned as if to frighten someone. It would not have come as a
surprise to Gregor if she had not come in, since his position was preventing
her from opening the window immediately. But not only did she not step inside;
she even stepped back and shut the door. A stranger really could have concluded
from this that Gregor had been lying in wait for her and wanted to bite her. Of
course, Gregor immediately concealed himself under the couch, but he had to
wait until noon before his sister returned, and she seemed much less calm than
usual. From this he realized that his appearance was still intolerable to her
and should remain intolerable to her in future—and that she really must have to
exert a lot of self-control not to run away from a glimpse of only the small
part of his body which stuck out from under the couch. In order to spare her
even this sight, one day he dragged the bedsheet on
his back up onto the couch—this task took him four hours—and arranged it in
such a way that he was now completely concealed and his sister, even if she
bent down, could not see him. If this sheet was not necessary as far as she was
concerned, then she could certainly have removed it, for it was clear enough
that Gregor could not derive any pleasure from isolating himself away so
completely. But she left the sheet just as it was, and Gregor believed he even
caught a look of gratitude when, on one occasion, he carefully lifted up the
sheet a little with his head to check as his sister took stock of the new arrangement.
In the first two weeks his parents could
not bring themselves to visit him, and he often heard how they fully acknowledged
his sister’s present work; whereas, earlier they had often got annoyed at his
sister because she had seemed to them a somewhat useless girl. Now both his
father and his mother frequently waited in front of Gregor’s door while his
sister cleaned up inside. As soon as she came out, she had to explain in great
detail how things looked in the room, what Gregor had eaten, how he had behaved
this time, and whether perhaps a slight improvement was perceptible. As it
happened, his mother comparatively soon had wanted to visit Gregor, but his father
and his sister had restrained her, at first with reasons which Gregor listened
to very attentively and which he completely endorsed. Later, however, they had
to hold her back forcefully. When she then cried “Let me go to Gregor. He’s my
unfortunate son! Don’t you understand that I have to go to him?” Gregor then
thought that perhaps it would be a good thing if his mother came in, not every
day, of course, but maybe once a week. She understood everything much better
than his sister, who, in spite of all her courage, was still merely a child
and, in the last analysis, had perhaps undertaken such a difficult task only
out of childish recklessness.
Gregor’s wish to see his mother was soon
realized. While during the day Gregor, out of consideration for his parents,
did not want to show himself by the window, he could not crawl around very much
on the few square meters of the floor. He found it difficult to bear lying
quietly during the night, and soon eating no longer
gave him the slightest pleasure. So for diversion he acquired the habit of
crawling back and forth across the walls and ceiling. He was especially fond of
hanging from the ceiling. The experience was quite different from lying on the
floor. It was easier to breathe, a slight vibration went through his body, and
in the midst of the almost happy amusement which Gregor found up there, it
could happen that, to his own surprise, he let go and hit the floor. However,
now he naturally controlled his body quite differently than before, and he did
not injure himself in such a great fall. Now, his sister noticed immediately
the new amusement which Gregor had found for himself—for as he crept around he
left behind here and there traces of his sticky stuff—and so she got the idea
of making the area where Gregor could creep around as large as possible and
thus of removing the furniture which got in the way, especially the chest of
drawers and the writing desk. But she was in no position to do this by herself. She did not dare to ask her father to help, and the
servant girl would certainly not have assisted her, for although this girl,
about sixteen years old, had courageously remained since the dismissal of the
previous cook, she had begged for the privilege of being allowed to stay
permanently confined to the kitchen and of having to open the door only in
answer to a special summons. Thus, his sister had no other choice but to
involve his mother, choosing a time when his father was absent. His mother
approached Gregor’s room with cries of excited joy, but she fell silent at the
door. Of course, his sister first checked whether everything in the room was in
order. Only then did she let his mother enter. Gregor had, with the greatest
haste, drawn the sheet down even further and wrinkled it more. The whole thing
really looked just like a coverlet thrown carelessly over the couch. On this
occasion, Gregor also held back from spying out from under the sheet. For now,
he refrained from looking at his mother and was merely happy that she had now
come. “Come on. You can’t see him,” said his sister and evidently led his
mother by the hand. Now Gregor listened as these two weak women shifted the
heavy old chest of drawers from its position. His sister constantly took on
herself the greatest part of the work, without listening to the warnings of his
mother, who was afraid that she would strain herself. The work lasted a very
long time. After about a quarter of an hour had already gone by, his mother
said it would be better if they left the chest of drawers where it was, because,
in the first place, it was too heavy. They would not be finished before his
father’s arrival, and leaving the chest of drawers in the middle of the room
would block all Gregor’s pathways, but, in the second place, they could not be
at all certain that Gregor would be pleased with the removal of the furniture.
To Gregor’s mother the reverse seemed likely to be true. The sight of the empty
walls pierced her right to the heart; and why should Gregor not feel the same?
He had been accustomed to the room furnishings for a long time and without them
would feel himself abandoned in an empty room. “And is it not the case,” his
mother concluded very quietly, almost whispering, as if she wished to prevent
Gregor, whose exact location she really did not know, from hearing even the
sound of her voice—for she was convinced that he did not understand her
words—“and isn’t it a fact that by removing the furniture we’d be showing that
we were giving up all hope of an improvement and leaving him to his own resources
without any consideration? I think it would be best if we tried to keep the
room exactly in the condition it was in before, so that, when Gregor returns to
us, he finds everything unchanged and can forget the intervening time all the
more easily.”
As he heard his mother’s words Gregor
realized that the lack of all immediate human contact, together with the
monotonous life surrounded by the family over the course of these two months,
must have confused his understanding, because otherwise he could not explain to
himself how he, in all seriousness, could have been so keen to have his room
emptied. Was he really eager to let the warm room, comfortably furnished with
pieces he had inherited, be turned into a cavern in which he would, of course,
then be able to crawl about in all directions without disturbance, but at the
same time with a quick and complete forgetting of his human past as well? Was
he then at this point already on the verge of forgetting and was it only the
voice of his mother, which he had not heard for a long time,
that had aroused him? Nothing was to be removed—everything must remain.
In his condition he could not function without the beneficial influences of his
furniture. And if the furniture prevented him from carrying out his senseless
crawling about all over the place, then there was no harm in that, but rather a
great benefit.
But his sister unfortunately thought
otherwise. She had grown accustomed, certainly not without justification, to acting
as a special expert when discussing matters concerning Gregor with their
parents, and so now the mother’s advice was for his sister sufficient reason to
insist on the removal, not only of the chest of drawers and the writing desk,
which were the only items she had thought about at first, but also of all the
rest of the furniture, with the exception of the indispensable couch. Of
course, it was not only childish defiance and her recent very unexpected and
hard won self-confidence which led her to this demand. She had also actually
observed that Gregor needed a great deal of room to creep about; the furniture,
on the other hand, as far as one could see, was not the slightest use. But
perhaps the enthusiastic sensibility of young women of her age also played a
role. This feeling sought release at every opportunity, and with it Grete now
felt tempted by the desire to make Gregor’s situation even more terrifying, so
that then she would be able to do even more for him than she had up to now. For
surely no one except Grete would ever trust themselves
to enter a room in which Gregor ruled the empty walls all by himself.
And so she did not let herself be dissuaded
from her decision by her mother, who in her sheer agitation seemed uncertain of
herself in the room as it was. She soon fell quiet, and helped his sister with
all the energy she could muster to get the chest of drawers out of the room.
Now, Gregor could still do without the chest of drawers if need be, but the
writing desk really had to stay. And scarcely had the women left the room with
the chest of drawers, groaning as they pushed it, when Gregor stuck his head
out from under the sofa to see how he could intervene, cautiously and with as
much consideration as possible. But unfortunately it was his mother who came
back into the room first; Grete had her arms wrapped around the chest of
drawers in the next room and was rocking it back and forth by herself, of
course without moving it from its position. But his mother was not used to the
sight of Gregor; just seeing him could have made her ill, and so, frightened,
Gregor scurried backwards right to the other end of the sofa. However, he could
no longer prevent the front of the sheet from moving a little. That was enough
to catch his mother’s attention. She came to a halt, stood still for a moment,
and then went back to Grete.
Although Gregor kept repeating to himself
over and over that really nothing unusual was going on, that only a few pieces
of furniture were being rearranged, he soon had to admit to himself that the
movements of the women to and fro, their quiet conversations, and the scraping
of the furniture on the floor affected him like a great commotion stirred up on
all sides. He was pulling in his head and legs and pressing his body into the
floor so firmly that he had to tell himself unequivocally he would not be able
to endure all this much longer. They were cleaning out his room, taking away
from him everything he cherished; they had already dragged out the chest of
drawers in which the fret saw and other tools were kept, and they were now
loosening the writing desk which was fixed tight to the floor, the desk on
which he, as a business student, as a high school student, indeed even as an
elementary school student, had written out his assignments. At that moment he
really did not have any more time to consider the good intentions of the two
women, whose existence he had in any case almost forgotten, because in their exhaustion
they were working really silently; the heavy stumbling of their feet was the
only sound to be heard.
And so he scuttled out—the women were just
propping themselves up on the writing desk in the next room in order to take a
short breather. He changed the direction of his path four
times. He really did not know what he should rescue first. Then he saw hanging
conspicuously on an otherwise empty wall the picture of the woman dressed in
nothing but fur. He quickly scurried up over it and pressed himself against the
glass which held it in place and which made his hot abdomen feel good. At least this picture, which Gregor for the moment completely
concealed—surely no one would now take this away. He twisted his head
towards the door of the living room to observe the women as they came back in.
They had not allowed themselves very much
rest and were coming back right away. Grete had placed her arm around her
mother and held her tightly. “So what shall we take now?” said Grete and looked
around her. Then her glance met Gregor’s from the wall. She kept her composure
only because her mother was there. She bent her face towards her mother in order
to prevent her from looking around, and said, although in a trembling voice and
too quickly, “Come, wouldn’t it be better to go back to the living room for
just another moment?” Grete’s purpose was clear to Gregor: she wanted to take
his mother to a safe place and then chase him down from the wall. Well, let her
just try! He squatted on his picture and did not hand it over. He would sooner
spring into Grete’s face.
But Grete’s words had immediately made the
mother very uneasy. She walked to the side, caught sight of the enormous brown
splotch on the flowered wallpaper, and, before she became truly aware that what
she was looking at was Gregor, screamed out in a high-pitched raw voice “Oh
God, oh God” and fell with outstretched arms, as if she was surrendering everything,
down onto the couch. She lay there motionless. “Gregor, you …” cried out his sister
with a raised fist and an urgent glare. Since his transformation these were the
first words she had directed right at him. She ran into the room next door to bring
some spirits—anything with which she could revive her mother from her fainting
spell. Gregor wanted to help as well—there was time enough to save the
picture—but he was stuck fast on the glass and had to tear himself loose
forcibly. Then he too scurried into the next room, as if he could give his
sister some advice, as in earlier times. He had to stand there idly behind her,
while she rummaged about among various small bottles. Still, she was frightened
when she turned around. A bottle fell onto the floor and shattered. A splinter
of glass wounded Gregor in the face, and some corrosive medicine or other
dripped over him. Now, without lingering any longer, Grete took as many small
bottles as she could hold and ran with them in to her mother. She slammed the
door shut with her foot. Gregor was now shut off from his mother, who was perhaps
near death, thanks to him. He could not open the door; he did not want to chase
away his sister, who had to remain with the mother. At this point he had
nothing to do but wait. Overwhelmed with self-reproach and worry, he began to
creep and crawl over everything: walls, furniture, and ceiling. Finally, in his
despair, as the entire room started to spin around him, he fell onto the middle
of the large table.
A short time elapsed. Gregor lay there
limply. All around was still. Perhaps that was a good sign. Then there was ring
at the door. The servant girl was naturally shut up in her kitchen, and
therefore Grete had to go to open the door. His father had arrived. “What’s happened?”
were his first words. Grete’s appearance had told him everything. Grete replied
with a dull voice; evidently she was pressing her face against her father’s
chest: “Mother fainted, but she’s getting better now. Gregor has broken loose.”
“Yes, I expected that,” said his father, “I always warned you of that, but you
women don’t want to listen.” It was clear to Gregor that the father had badly
misunderstood Grete’s all-too-brief message and was assuming that Gregor had
committed some violent crime or other. Thus, Gregor now had to find his father
to calm him down, for he had neither the time nor the ability to explain things
to him. And so he rushed away to the door of his room and pushed himself
against it, so that his father could see right away as he entered from the hall
that Gregor fully intended to return at once to his room, that it was not
necessary to drive him back, but that one only needed to open the door, and he
would disappear immediately.
But his father was not in the mood to
observe such niceties. “Ah!” he yelled as soon as he entered, with a tone as if
he were at once angry and pleased. Gregor pulled his head back from the door
and raised it in the direction of his father. He had not really pictured his father
as he now stood there. Of course, what with his new style of creeping all
around, he had in the past while neglected to pay attention to what was going
on in the rest of the apartment, as he had used to do; he really should have
grasped the fact that he would encounter different conditions. And yet, and
yet, was that still his father? Was that the same man who had lain exhausted
and buried in bed in earlier days when Gregor was setting out on a business
trip; who had received him on the evenings of his return in a sleeping gown and
arm chair, totally incapable of standing up; who had only lifted his arms as a
sign of happiness; and who in their rare strolls together a few Sundays a year
and on the most important holidays made his way slowly forwards between Gregor
and his mother—who themselves moved slowly—even a bit more slowly than them, bundled
up in his old coat, working hard to move forwards and always setting down his
walking stick carefully; and who, when he had wanted to say something, had
almost always stood still and gathered his entourage around him? Now he was
standing up really straight, dressed in a tight-fitting blue uniform with gold
buttons, like the ones doormen wear in a banking company. Above the high stiff
collar of his jacket his firm double chin stuck out prominently, beneath his
bushy eyebrows the glance of his black eyes was fresh and alert, and his
usually disheveled white hair was combed down into a shining and carefully exact
part. He threw his cap, on which a gold monogram, probably the symbol of a
bank, was affixed, in an arc across the entire room onto the sofa and, thrusting
back the edges of the long coat of his uniform, with his hands in his trouser
pockets and a grim face, moved right up to Gregor. He really did not know what
he had in mind, but he raised his feet uncommonly high anyway, and Gregor was
astonished at the gigantic size of the soles of his boots. Gregor did not
linger on that point; he had known even from the first day of his new life
that, as far as he was concerned, his father considered the only appropriate
response to be the most forceful one. And so he scurried away from his father,
stopped when his father remained standing, and scampered forward again when his
father stirred a little. In this way they made their way around the room repeatedly,
without anything decisive taking place. In fact, because of the slow pace, it
did not look like a chase. Gregor remained on the floor for the time being, especially
since he was afraid that his father could interpret a flight up onto the wall
or the ceiling as an act of real malice. At any event, Gregor had to tell himself
that he could not keep up this running around for a long time, because whenever
his father took a single step, he had to go through a large number of
movements. Already he was starting to feel short of breath, just as in his
earlier days when his lungs had been quite unreliable. As he now staggered
around in this way, trying to gather all his energy for running, hardly able to
keep his eyes open and feeling so listless that he had no notion at all of any
escape other than by running and had almost already forgotten that the walls
were available to him, although here they were obstructed by carefully carved
furniture full of sharp points and spikes—at that moment something or other thrown
casually flew close by and rolled in front of him. It was an apple. Immediately
a second one flew after it. Gregor stood still in fright. Further running away
was useless, for his father had decided to bombard him. From the fruit bowl on
the sideboard his father had filled his pockets, and now, without for the
moment taking accurate aim, he was throwing apple after apple. These small red
apples were rolling around on the floor, as if electrified, and colliding with
each other. A weakly thrown apple grazed Gregor’s back but skidded off
harmlessly. However, another thrown immediately after that one drove into his
back really hard. Gregor wanted to drag himself onward, as if he could make the
unexpected and incredible pain go away if he changed his position. But he felt
as if he was nailed in place and lay stretched out, completely confused in all
his senses. Only with his final glance did he notice how the door of his room
was pulled open; and how, right in front of his screaming sister, his mother
ran out in her underbodice (for his sister had
loosened her clothing in order to give her some freedom to breathe in her
fainting spell); and how his mother then ran up to his father—on the way her
loosened petticoats slipping toward the floor one after the other—and how,
tripping over them, she hurled herself onto the father and, throwing her arms
around him, in complete union with him—but at this moment Gregor’s powers of
sight gave way—as her hands reached around the father’s neck, and she begged
him to spare Gregor’s life.
III
Gregor’s serious wound, from which he
suffered for over a month—since no one ventured to remove the apple, it
remained in his flesh as a visible reminder—seemed by itself to have reminded
the father that, in spite of Gregor’s present unhappy and hateful appearance,
he was a member of the family and should not be treated as an enemy. It was, on
the contrary, a requirement of family duty to suppress one’s aversion and to
endure—nothing else, just endure.
If, through his wound, Gregor had now also
apparently lost for good his ability to move and for the time being needed
many, many minutes to crawl across his room, like an aged invalid—so far as
creeping up high was concerned, that was unimaginable—nevertheless, for this
worsening of his condition, in his view he did get completely satisfactory
compensation, because every day towards evening the door to the living room,
which he was in the habit of keeping a sharp eye on even one or two hours
beforehand, was opened, so that he, lying down in the darkness of his room, invisible
from the living room, could see the entire family at the illuminated table and
listen to their conversation, to a certain extent with their common permission,
a situation quite different from what had happened before.
Of course, it was no longer the animated
social interaction of former times—of the sort which Gregor had always thought
about with a certain longing in small hotel rooms, when, tired out, he had had
to throw himself into the damp bedclothes. For the most part what went on now
was only very quiet. After the evening meal, the father soon fell asleep in his
armchair. The mother and sister warned each other to be quiet. Bent far over
the light, the mother sewed fine undergarments for a fashion shop. The sister,
who had taken on a job as a salesgirl, in the evening studied stenography and
French, so as perhaps to obtain a better position later on. Sometimes the
father woke up and, as if he was quite ignorant that he had been asleep, said
to the mother “How long you have been sewing again today!” and went right back
to sleep, while the mother and the sister smiled tiredly to each other.
With a sort of stubbornness the father
refused to take off his servant’s uniform even at home, and while his sleeping gown
hung unused on the coat hook, the father dozed completely dressed in his place,
as if he was always ready for his responsibility and even here was waiting for
the voice of his superior. As a result, in spite of all the care from the
mother and sister, his uniform, which even at the start was not new, grew
dirty, and Gregor looked, often for the entire evening, at this clothing, with
stains all over it and with its gold buttons always polished, in which the old
man, though he must have been very uncomfortable, nonetheless was sleeping
peacefully.
As soon as the clock struck ten, the mother
tried gently to encourage the father to wake up and then to persuade him to go
to bed, on the grounds that he could not get a proper sleep here and that the
father, who had to report for service at six o’clock, really needed a good
sleep. But in his stubbornness, which had gripped him since he had become an
employee, he always insisted on staying even longer by the table, although he
regularly fell asleep and then could be prevailed upon only with the greatest
difficulty to trade his chair for the bed. No matter how much the mother and
sister might at that point work on him with small admonitions, for a quarter of
an hour he would remain shaking his head slowly, his eyes closed, without
standing up. The mother would pull him by the sleeve and speak flattering words
into his ear; the sister would leave her work to help her mother, but that
would not have the desired effect on the father. He would merely settle himself
even more deeply into his arm chair. Only when the two women grabbed him under
the armpits would he throw his eyes open, look back and forth at the mother and
sister, and habitually say “This is a life. This is the peace and quiet of my
old age.” And propped up by both women, he would heave himself up elaborately,
as if for him it was the greatest trouble, allow himself to be led to the door
by the women, wave them away, and proceed on his own from that point, while the
mother quickly threw down her sewing implements and the sister her pen in order
to run after the father and help him some more.
In this overworked and exhausted family who
had time any longer to worry about Gregor more than was absolutely necessary?
The household was constantly getting smaller. The servant girl had been let go.
A huge bony cleaning woman with white hair flying all over her head now came in
the morning and evening to do the heaviest work. The mother took care of
everything else, in addition to her considerable sewing work. It even happened
that various pieces of family jewellery, which previously the mother and sister
had been overjoyed to wear on social and festive occasions, were sold, as
Gregor found out in the evening from the general discussion of the prices they
had fetched. But the greatest complaint was always that they could not leave
this apartment, which was much too big for their present means, since it was
impossible to imagine how Gregor might be moved. Gregor fully recognized that
it was not just consideration for him which was preventing a move, for he could
have been transported easily in a suitable box with a few air holes. The main
thing holding the family back from a change in living quarters was far more
their complete hopelessness and the idea that they had been struck by a
misfortune like no one else in their entire circle of relatives and
acquaintances. What the world demands of poor people they now carried out to an
extreme degree. The father brought breakfast to the petty officials at the
bank; the mother sacrificed herself for the undergarments of strangers; the
sister behind her desk was at the beck and call of customers. But the family’s
energies did not extend any further. And the wound in Gregor’s back began to
pain him all over again, when his mother and sister, after they had escorted
the father to bed, now came back, let their work lie, moved close together, and
sat cheek to cheek and when his mother would now say, pointing to Gregor’s
room, “Close the door, Grete,” and when Gregor was again in the darkness, while
close by the women mingled their tears or, quite dry eyed, stared at the table.
Gregor spent his nights and days with
hardly any sleep. Sometimes he thought that the next time the door opened he
would take over the family arrangements just as he had earlier. In his
imagination appeared again, after a long time, his boss and the manager, the
chief clerk and the apprentices, the excessively dense custodian, two or three
friends from other businesses, a chambermaid from a hotel in the provinces (a loving,
fleeting memory), a cashier from a hat shop, whom he had seriously but too
slowly courted—they all appeared mixed in with strangers or people he had already
forgotten, but instead of helping him and his family, they were all
unapproachable, and he was happy to see them disappear. But sometimes he was in
no mood to worry about his family. He could be filled with sheer anger over the
wretched care he was getting, even though he could not imagine anything which
he might have an appetite for. Still, he made plans about how he could get into
the pantry to take there what he at all accounts deserved, even if he was not
hungry. Without thinking any more about what might give Gregor special
pleasure, the sister very quickly kicked some food or other, whatever she felt
like, into his room in the morning and at noon, before she ran off to her shop.
And in the evening, quite indifferent to whether the food had perhaps only been
tasted or—what happened most frequently—remained entirely undisturbed, she
whisked it out with one sweep of her broom. The task of cleaning his room,
which she now always carried out in the evening, could not have been done any
more quickly. Streaks of dirt ran along the walls; here and there lay tangles
of dust and garbage. At first, when his sister arrived, Gregor positioned
himself in a particularly filthy corner as a way of making some sort of protest.
But he could well have stayed there for weeks without his sister’s doing the
job any better. In fact, she saw the dirt as well as he did, but she had
decided just to let it stay. In this business, with a touchiness which was
quite new to her and which had generally taken over the entire family, she kept
watch to see that the cleaning of Gregor’s room remained reserved for her. His
mother had once undertaken a major cleanup of his room, which she had only
completed successfully after using a few buckets of water. The extensive
dampness made Gregor sick, however, and he lay spread
out, embittered and immobile, on the couch. But the mother did not escape
punishment. For in the evening the sister had hardly observed the change in
Gregor’s room before she ran into the living room mightily offended and, in
spite of her mother’s hand lifted high in entreaty, broke out in a fit of
crying. Her parents—the father had, of course, woken up with a start in his
armchair—at first looked at her astonished and helpless, but then they started
to get agitated as well. Turning to his right, the father heaped reproaches on
the mother that she had not left the cleaning of Gregor’s room to the sister
and, turning to his left, he shouted at the sister that she would never again
be allowed to clean Gregor’s room, while the mother tried to pull the father,
beside himself in his excitement, into the bedroom. The sister, shaken by her
crying fit, pounded on the table with her tiny fists, and Gregor hissed at all
this, angry that no one thought about shutting the door and sparing him the
sight of this commotion.
But even when the sister, exhausted from
her daily work, had grown tired of caring for Gregor as she had before, even
then the mother did not have to come at all in her place. And Gregor did not
have to be neglected. For now the cleaning woman was there. This old widow,
whose strong bony frame had enabled her to survive the worst a long life can offer,
had no real horror of Gregor. Without being in the least curious, she had once
accidentally opened Gregor’s door. At the sight of Gregor, who, totally
surprised, began to scamper here and there, although no one was chasing him,
she remained standing with her hands folded across her stomach staring at him.
Since then she would never fail to open the door furtively a little every
morning and evening and look in on Gregor. At first, she also called him to her
with words that she probably thought were friendly, like “Come on over here,
old dung beetle!” or “Hey, look at the old dung beetle!” Addressed in such a
manner, Gregor made no answer, but remained motionless in his place, as if the
door had not been opened at all. If only, instead of allowing this cleaning
woman to disturb him uselessly whenever she felt like it, they had given her
orders to clean up his room every day! Once in the early morning—a hard downpour,
perhaps already a sign of the coming spring, struck the window panes—when the
cleaning woman started up once again with her usual conversation, Gregor was so
bitter that he turned towards her, as if for an attack, although slowly and
weakly. But instead of being afraid of him, the cleaning woman merely lifted up
a chair standing close by the door and, as she stood there with her mouth wide
open, her intention was clear: she would close her mouth only when the chair in
her hand had been thrown down on Gregor’s back. “This goes no further, all
right?” she asked, as Gregor turned himself around
again, and she placed the chair calmly back in the corner.
Gregor ate hardly anything anymore. Only
when he chanced to move past the food which had been prepared did he, as a
game, take a bit into his mouth, hold it there for hours, and generally spit it
out again. At first he thought it might be his sadness over the condition of
his room that kept him from eating, but he very soon became reconciled to the
alterations in his room. People had grown accustomed to discard in there things
which they could not put anywhere else, and at this point there were many such
items, now that they had rented one room of the apartment to three lodgers.
These solemn gentlemen—all three had full beards, as Gregor once found out
through a crack in the door—were meticulously intent on tidiness, not only in
their own room but, since they had now rented a room here, in the entire
household, particularly in the kitchen. They simply did not tolerate any
useless, let alone any dirty, stuff. Moreover, for the most part they had
brought with them their own pieces of furniture. Thus, many items had become
superfluous, but these were not really things one could sell or things people
wanted to throw out. All these pieces ended up in Gregor’s room, even the box of
ashes and the garbage pail from the kitchen. The cleaning woman, always in a
great hurry, simply flung anything that was for the moment useless into
Gregor’s room. Fortunately Gregor generally saw only the relevant object and
the hand which held it. The cleaning woman perhaps was intending, when time and
opportunity allowed, to take the stuff out again or to throw everything out all
at once, but in fact the things remained lying there, wherever they had ended
up at the first throw, unless Gregor squirmed his way through the accumulation
of junk and moved them. At first he was forced to do this because otherwise
there was no room for him to creep around; later he did it with a growing
pleasure, although after such movements, tired to death and feeling wretched,
he did not budge again for hours.
Because the lodgers sometimes also took
their evening meal at home in the common living room, the door to it stayed
shut on many evenings. But Gregor had no trouble at all going without the open
door. Already on many evenings when it was open he had not availed himself of
it, but, without the family noticing, was stretched out in the darkest corner
of his room. However, on one occasion the cleaning woman had left the door to
the living room slightly ajar, and it remained open even when the lodgers came
in, as evening fell and the lights were put on. They sat down at the head of
the table—where in earlier days the mother, the father, and Gregor had
eaten—unfolded their serviettes, and picked up their knives and forks. The
mother immediately appeared in the door with a dish of meat and right behind
her the sister with a dish piled high with potatoes. The food gave off a lot of
steam. The gentlemen lodgers bent over the plates set before them, as if they
wanted to check them before eating, and in fact the one who sat in the
middle—for the other two he seemed to serve as the authority—cut off a piece of
meat still on the serving dish, obviously to establish whether it was
sufficiently tender and whether or not it should be sent back to the kitchen.
He was satisfied, and mother and sister, who had
looked on in suspense, began to breathe easily and to smile.
The family itself ate in the kitchen. In
spite of that, before the father went into the kitchen, he came into the living
room and with a single bow, cap in hand, made a tour
of the table. The lodgers rose up collectively and murmured something into
their beards. Then, when they were alone, they ate almost in complete silence.
It seemed odd to Gregor that, out of all the many different sorts of sounds of
eating, what was always audible was their chewing
teeth, as if by that Gregor should be shown that people needed their teeth to
eat and that nothing could be done even with the most handsome toothless
jawbone. “I really do have an appetite,” Gregor said to himself sorrowfully,
“but not for these things. How these lodgers stuff themselves,
and I am dying of hunger!”
On this very evening the violin sounded
from the kitchen. Gregor did not remember ever hearing it all through this period.
The lodgers had already ended their night meal, the middle one had pulled out a
newspaper and had given each of the other two a page, and they were now leaning
back, reading and smoking. When the violin started playing, they became
attentive, got up, and went on tiptoe to the hall door, at which they remained
standing pressed up against one another. They must have been audible from the
kitchen, because Gregor’s father called out, “Perhaps the gentlemen don’t like
the playing? It can be stopped at once.” “On the contrary,” stated the lodger
in the middle, “might the young woman not come in to us and play in the room
here, where it is really much more comfortable and cheerful?” “Oh, certainly,”
cried Gregor’s father, as if he were the one playing the violin. The men
stepped back into the room and waited. Soon his father came with the music
stand, his mother with the sheet music, and his sister with the violin. His
sister calmly prepared everything for the recital. His parents, who had never
previously rented a room and therefore behaved with exaggerated politeness to
the lodgers, dared not sit on their own chairs. His father leaned against the
door, his right hand stuck between two buttons of his buttoned-up uniform. His
mother, however, accepted a chair offered by one of the lodgers. Since she let
the chair stay where the gentleman had chanced to put it, she sat to one side
in a corner.
His sister began to play. His father and
mother, one on each side, followed attentively the movements of her hands. Attracted
by the playing, Gregor had ventured to advance a little further forward, and
his head was already in the living room. He scarcely wondered about the fact
that recently he had had so little consideration for the others. Earlier,
consideration for his family had been something he was proud of. And for that
very reason he would have had at this moment more reason to hide away, because
as a result of the dust which lay all over his room and flew around with the
slightest movement, he was totally covered in dirt. On his back and his sides
he carted around with him threads, hair, and remnants of food. His indifference
to everything was much too great for him to lie on his
back and scour himself on the carpet, as he had done earlier several times a
day. Now, in spite of his condition he had no timidity about inching forward a
bit on the spotless floor of the living room.
In any case, no one paid him any attention.
The family was all caught up in the violin playing. The lodgers, by contrast,
having initially placed themselves, hands in their trouser pockets, behind the
music stand much too close to his sister, so that they could all see the sheet
music, something that must certainly have bothered his sister, soon drew back
to the window conversing in low voices with bowed heads, where they then
remained, anxiously observed by the father. It now seemed abundantly clear
that, having assumed they were to hear a beautiful or entertaining violin
recital, they were disappointed; they had had enough of the entire performance
and were allowing their peace and quiet to be disturbed only out of politeness.
In particular, the way in which they all blew the smoke from their cigars out
of their noses and mouths up into the air led one to conclude that they were
very tense. And yet his sister was playing so beautifully. Her face was turned
to the side, her eyes following the score intently and sadly. Gregor crept
forward still a little further, keeping his head close against the floor in
order to be able to catch her gaze if possible. Was he a beast that music so
captivated him? It was as if the way to the unknown nourishment he craved was
revealing itself. He was determined to press forward right up to his sister, to
tug at her dress, and to indicate to her in this way that she might still come
with her violin into his room, because here no one valued the recital as he
longed to valued it. He did not wish to let her go from his room any more, at
least not while he was still alive. His frightening appearance would for the
first time become useful for him. He wanted to be at all the doors of his room
simultaneously and snarl back at the attackers. However, his sister should not
be compelled but would remain with him voluntarily. She would sit next to him
on the sofa, bend down her ear to him, and he would then confide in her that he
had firmly intended to send her to the Conservatory and that, if his misfortune
had not arrived in the interim, he would have declared all this last
Christmas—had Christmas really already come and gone?—and would have brooked no
argument. After this explanation his sister would break out in tears of
emotion, and Gregor would lift himself up to her shoulder and kiss her throat,
which she, from the time she had been going to work, had left exposed without a
ribbon or a collar.
“Mr. Samsa!”
called out the middle lodger to the father and, without uttering a further
word, pointed his index finger at Gregor as he was moving slowly forward. The
violin fell silent. The middle lodger smiled, first shaking his head at his
friends, and then looked down at Gregor once more. Rather than driving Gregor
back, his father seemed to consider it more important for the time being to
calm down the lodgers, although they were not at all upset and Gregor seemed to
entertain them more than the violin recital. His father hurried over to them
and with outstretched arms tried to push them into their own room and at the
same time to block their view of Gregor with his own body. At this point they
really did become somewhat irritated, although it was hard to tell whether that
was because of his father’s behavior or because of the knowledge they had just
acquired—that they had a neighbor like Gregor and had not been aware of it.
They demanded explanations from his father, raised their arms to make their
points, tugged agitatedly at their beards, and moved back towards their room
quite slowly. In the meantime, his sister, suddenly left on her own, had felt
overwhelmed by the unexpected breaking off of the recital. She had held onto
the violin and bow in her limp hands for a little
while and had continued to look at the sheet music as if she were still
playing. All at once she pulled herself together, placed the instrument in her
mother’s lap—the mother was still sitting in her chair having trouble
breathing, her lungs laboring hard—and had run into the next room, which the
lodgers, pressured by the father, were already approaching more rapidly. One
could observe how under his sister’s practiced hands the covers and pillows on
the beds were thrown high and then rearranged. Even before the lodgers had
reached the room, she had finished fixing the beds and was slipping out. His
father seemed once again so gripped by his stubbornness that he forgot about
the respect that, after all, he must show his lodgers. He pressed on and on,
until right in the door of the room the middle gentleman stamped loudly with
his foot and thus brought Gregor’s father to a standstill. “I hereby declare,”
the middle lodger said, raising his hand and casting his glance both on
Gregor’s mother and sister, “that
considering the disgraceful conditions prevailing in this apartment and
family”—with this he spat decisively on the floor—“I immediately cancel my
room. I will, of course, pay nothing at all for the days which I have lived
here; on the contrary, I shall think about whether or not I will initiate some
sort of action against you, something which—believe me—would be very easy to
establish.” He fell silent and looked directly in front of him, as if he was
waiting for something. In fact, his two friends immediately joined in with
their opinions, “We also give immediate notice.” At that he seized the door
handle and with a bang slammed the door shut.
Gregor’s father groped his way tottering to
his chair and let himself fall into it. It looked as
if he were stretching out for his usual evening snooze, but the heavy nodding
of his head, which appeared as if it had no support, showed that he was not
sleeping at all. Gregor had lain motionless the entire time in the spot where the
lodgers had caught him out. Disappointment with the collapse of his plan and
perhaps also weakness brought on by his severe hunger made it impossible for
him to move. He was afraid and reasonably certain that they might launch a
combined attack against him at any moment, and he waited. He was not even
startled when the violin fell from his mother’s lap, out from under her
trembling fingers, and gave off a reverberating tone.
“My dear parents,” said his sister, banging
her hand on the table by way of an introduction, “things cannot go on any
longer in this way. If you don’t understand that, well, I do. I will not utter
my brother’s name in front of this monster, and thus I say only that we must
try to get rid of it. We have tried what is humanly possible to take care of it
and to be patient. I believe that no one can criticize us in the slightest.”
“She is right in a thousand ways,” said his
father to himself. His mother, who was still incapable of breathing properly, began
to cough numbly with her hand held up over her mouth and a manic expression in
her eyes.
His sister hurried over to her mother and
held her forehead. His sister’s words seemed to have led his father to certain
reflections. He sat upright, played with his service hat among the plates, which
still lay on the table from the lodgers’ evening meal, and looked now and then
at the motionless Gregor.
“We must try to get rid of it,” his sister
now said decisively to his father, for his mother, in her coughing fit, was not
listening to anything. “It is killing you both. I see it coming. When people
have to work as hard as we all do, they can’t also tolerate this endless
torment at home. I just can’t go on any more.” And she broke out into such a
crying fit that her tears flowed down onto her mother’s face. She wiped them
off her mother with mechanical motions of her hands.
“Child,” said her father sympathetically
and with obvious appreciation, “then what should we do?”
Gregor’s sister only shrugged her shoulders
as a sign of the perplexity which, in contrast to her previous confidence, had
now come over her while she was crying.
“If he understood us,” said his father in a
half-questioning tone. His sister, in the midst of her sobbing, shook her hand
energetically as a sign that there was no point thinking of that.
“If he understood us,” repeated his father
and by shutting his eyes he absorbed the sister’s conviction of the impossibility
of this point, “then perhaps some compromise would be possible with him. But as
it is …”
“It has to go,” cried his sister. “That is
the only way, Father. You must try to get rid of the idea that this is Gregor. The fact that we have believed this for so long, that is our real
misfortune. But how can it be Gregor? If it were Gregor, he would have
long ago realized that a life among human beings is not possible for such a
creature and would have gone away voluntarily. Then we would not have a
brother, but we could go on living and honor his memory. But this animal
plagues us. It drives away the lodgers and obviously wants to take over the
entire apartment and leave us to spend the night in the alley. Just look,
father,” she suddenly cried out, “he’s already starting up again.” With a
fright which was totally incomprehensible to Gregor, his sister left his
mother, literally pushed herself away from her chair, as if she would sooner
sacrifice her mother than remain in Gregor’s vicinity, and rushed behind her
father who, excited merely by her behavior, also stood up and half raised his
arms in front of Gregor’s sister as though to protect her.
But Gregor did not have any notion of
wishing to create problems for anyone and certainly not for his sister. He had
just started to turn himself around in order to creep back into his room, quite
a startling sight, since, as a result of his ailing condition, he had to guide
himself through the difficulty of turning around with his head, in this process
lifting and striking it against the floor several times. He paused and looked
around. His good intentions seemed to have been recognized. The fright had
lasted only for a moment. Now they looked at him in silence and sorrow. His
mother lay in her chair, with her legs stretched out and pressed together, her
eyes almost shut from weariness. His father and sister sat next to one another.
His sister had laid her hand around her father’s neck.
“Now perhaps I can actually turn myself
around,” thought Gregor and began the task again. He couldn’t stop puffing at
the effort and had to rest now and then. No one was urging him on; it was all
left to him on his own. When he had finished turning around, he immediately
began to head straight back towards his room. He was astonished at the great
distance which separated him from his room and did not understand in the least
how in his weakness he had covered the same distance a short time before,
almost without noticing it. Always intent only on creeping along quickly, he
hardly paid any attention to the fact that no word or cry from his family
interrupted him. Only when he was already in the doorway did he turn his head,
not completely, because he felt his neck growing stiff. At any rate, he still
saw that behind him nothing had changed. Only his sister was standing up. His
last glimpse brushed over his mother, who was now completely asleep.
He was only just inside his room when the
door was pushed shut very quickly, bolted fast, and barred. Gregor was startled
by the sudden commotion behind him, so much so that his little limbs bent
double under him. It was his sister who had been in such a hurry. She was already
standing up, had waited, and then had sprung forward nimbly. Gregor had not
heard anything of her approach. She cried out “Finally!” to her parents, as she
turned the key in the lock.
“What now?” Gregor asked himself and looked
around him in the darkness. He soon made the discovery that he could no longer
move at all. He was not surprised at that. On the contrary, it struck him as
unnatural that up to this point he had actually been able to move around with
these thin little legs. Despite everything he felt relatively content. True, he
had pains throughout his entire body, but it seemed to him that they were
gradually becoming weaker and weaker and would finally go away completely. He
hardly noticed the rotten apple in his back and the inflamed surrounding area,
which were now entirely covered with soft dust. He remembered his family with
deep feelings of love. In this whole business, his own conviction that he had
to disappear was, if possible, even more firmly held than his sister’s. He
remained in this state of empty and peaceful reflection until the tower clock
struck three in the morning. He lived long enough to see everything outside the
window beginning to grow brighter. Then without his willing it, his head sank
all the way down, and from his nostrils his last breath flowed weakly out.
Early in the morning the cleaning woman
came. In her sheer energy and haste she banged all the doors—in precisely the
way people had already frequently asked her not to do—so much so that once she
arrived a quiet sleep was no longer possible anywhere in the entire apartment.
In her customary brief visit to Gregor she at first found nothing unusual. She
thought he lay so immobile there on purpose and was playing the offended party.
She gave him credit for as complete an understanding as possible. Since she
happened to be holding the long broom in her hand, she tried to tickle Gregor
with it from the door. When that was quite unsuccessful, she became irritated
and poked Gregor a little, and only when she had shoved him from his place without
any resistance did she take notice. When she realized the true state of
affairs, her eyes grew large and she whistled to herself. However, she didn’t restrain
herself for long. She pulled open the door of the bedroom and yelled in a loud
voice into the darkness, “Come and look. It’s kicked the bucket. It’s lying
there. It’s completely snuffed it!”
The Samsas sat
upright in their double bed and had to get over their fright at the cleaning woman
before they managed to grasp her message. But then Mr. and Mrs. Samsa climbed very quickly out of bed, one on either side.
Mr. Samsa threw the bedspread over his shoulders,
Mrs. Samsa came out only in her nightshirt, and like
this they stepped into Gregor’s room. Meanwhile, the door of the living room,
where Grete had been sleeping since the lodgers had arrived on the scene, had
also opened. She was fully clothed, as if she had not slept at all; her white
face also seemed to indicate that. “Dead?” said Mrs. Samsa
and looked questioningly at the cleaning woman, although she could have checked
everything on her own—and indeed it was all clear enough even without checking
anything. “I should say so,” said the cleaning woman and, by way of proof,
poked Gregor’s body with the broom a considerable distance more to the side.
Mrs. Samsa made a movement as if she wished to
restrain the broom but did not do it. “Well,” said Mr. Samsa,
“now we can give thanks to God.” He crossed himself, and the three women followed
his example. Grete, who did not take her eyes off the corpse, said, “Just look how thin he was. He has eaten nothing for such a long
time. The meals which came in here came out again exactly the same.” In fact,
Gregor’s body was completely flat and dry. That was apparent really for the
first time, now that he was no longer raised on his small limbs and nothing
else distracted one from looking.
“Grete, come and join us for a moment,”
said Mrs. Samsa with a melancholy smile, and Grete
went, not without looking back at the corpse, following her parents into the
bedroom. The cleaning woman shut the door and opened the window wide. In spite
of the early morning, the fresh air was partly tinged with warmth. It was
already almost the end of March.
The three lodgers stepped out of their room
and looked around for their breakfast, astonished that they had been forgotten.
The middle one of the gentlemen asked the cleaning woman grumpily, “Where is
the breakfast?” However, she laid her finger to her lips and then quickly and
silently indicated to the lodgers that they could come into Gregor’s room. So
they came and stood in the room, which was already quite bright, around
Gregor’s corpse, their hands in the pockets of their somewhat worn jackets.
Then the door of the bedroom opened, and
Mr. Samsa appeared in his uniform, with his wife on
one arm and his daughter on the other. All were a little tear stained. Now and
then Grete pressed her face into her father’s arm.
“Get out of my apartment immediately,” said
Mr. Samsa and pointed to the door, without letting go
of the women. “What do you mean?” said the middle lodger, somewhat dismayed and
with a sugary smile. The two others kept their hands behind them and constantly
rubbed them against each other, as if in joyful anticipation of a great
squabble which must end up in their favor. “I mean exactly what I say,” replied
Mr. Samsa, and, with his two female companions, went
directly up to the lodger. The latter at first stood there motionless and
looked at the floor, as if matters were arranging themselves in a new way in
his head. “All right, then we’ll go,” he said and looked up at Mr. Samsa as if, suddenly overcome by humility,
he was even asking fresh permission for this decision. Mr. Samsa
merely nodded briefly and repeatedly to him with his eyes open wide. Following
that, with long strides the lodger did actually go out into the hall. His two
friends had already been listening for a while with their hands quite still,
and now they hopped smartly after him, as if afraid that Mr. Samsa could step into the hall ahead of them and disturb
their reunion with their leader. In the hall all three of them took their hats
from the coat rack, pulled their canes from the umbrella stand, bowed silently,
and left the apartment. In what turned out to be an entirely groundless
mistrust, Mr. Samsa stepped with the two women out
onto the landing, leaned against the railing, and looked over as the three
lodgers slowly but steadily made their way down the long staircase, disappeared
on each floor in a certain turn of the stairwell, and in a few seconds
reappeared again. The further down they went, the more the Samsa
family lost interest in them, and when a butcher’s assistant with a tray on his
head came up to meet them and then with a proud bearing ascended the stairs
high above them, Mr. Samsa, together with the women,
soon left the bannister, and they all returned, as if
relieved, back into their apartment.
They decided to pass that day resting and
going for a stroll. Not only had they earned this break from work, but there
was no question that they really needed it. And so they sat down at the table
and wrote three letters of apology: Mr. Samsa to his
supervisor, Mrs. Samsa to her client, and Grete to
her proprietor. During the writing the cleaning woman came in to say that she
was going off, for her morning work was finished. The three people writing at
first merely nodded, without glancing up. Only when the cleaning woman was
still unwilling to depart, did they look up annoyed. “Well?” asked Mr. Samsa. The cleaning woman stood smiling in the doorway, as
if she had a great stroke of luck to report to the family but would only do it
if she was questioned thoroughly. The almost upright small ostrich feather in
her hat, which had irritated Mr. Samsa during her
entire service with them, swayed lightly in all directions. “All right then,
what do you really want?” asked Mrs. Samsa, whom the
cleaning lady respected more than the others. “Well,” answered the cleaning
woman, smiling so happily she couldn’t go on speaking right away, “you mustn’t
worry about throwing out that rubbish from the next room. It’s all taken care
of.” Mrs. Samsa and Grete bent down to their letters,
as though they wanted to go on writing. Mr. Samsa,
who saw that the cleaning woman would now want to describe everything in
detail, decisively prevented her with an outstretched hand. Since she was not
allowed to explain, she remembered the great hurry she was in, and called out,
clearly insulted, “Bye bye, everyone,” then turned around furiously and left
the apartment with a fearful slamming of the door.
“This evening she’ll be given notice,” said
Mr. Samsa, but he got no answer from either his wife
or from his daughter, because the cleaning woman seemed to have once again
upset the tranquility they had just attained. The women got up, went to the
window, and remained there, with their arms about each other. Mr. Samsa turned around in his chair in their direction and
observed them quietly for a while. Then he called out, “All right, come here
then. Let’s set aside these old matters once and for all. And have a little
consideration for me.” The women attended to him at once. They rushed to him,
caressed him, and quickly ended their letters.
Then all three left the apartment together,
something they had not done for months now, and took the electric tram into the
open air outside the city. The car in which they were sitting by themselves was
wholly flooded by the warm sun. Leaning back comfortably in their seats, they
talked to each other about future prospects, and they discovered that on closer
observation these were not at all bad, for the three of them had not really
questioned each other about their employment at all. Each of their positions
was extremely favorable and offered especially promising future prospects. The
greatest improvement in their situation at this point, of course, would have to
come from a change of dwelling. They would now like to rent a smaller and
cheaper apartment but better situated and generally more practical than the
present one, which Gregor had chosen. While they amused themselves chatting in
this way, it struck Mr. and Mrs. Samsa, almost at the
same moment, as they looked at their daughter, who was getting more animated
all the time, how she had blossomed recently, in spite of all the troubles
which had made her cheeks pale, into a beautiful and voluptuous young woman.
Growing more silent and almost unconsciously understanding each other in their
glances, they thought that the time was now at hand to seek out a good honest
man for her. And it was something of a confirmation of their new dreams and
good intentions when at the end of their journey their daughter stood up first
and stretched her young body.
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